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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Quote: "Busy," Unquote

My Dear Reader,

Sorry about October.

I mean it. I feel awful about the whole thing. I'm the worst person ever.

I could say I was too busy, which would kind of be the truth. Of course, it would also be a lie.

The truth of the matter is that, except for moms, people are rarely too busy for the small things. Especially something they've done on a regular basis for over two years. I hate it when people tell me that they're too busy, when I can tell that what they mean is, "I could have done it, but I didn't value it enough to take the time, slash I forgot." So I won't do that to you, Gentle Reader. You deserve better than that.

You see, if I'm going to be truly honest about the whole thing, I should really say that I had a lot of stuff to take care of and that sucked up a lot of time that I normally reserve for blogging. Of course, it's not like I spent every second of my time as wisely as I could have, and I definitely could have taken the timeout of other things I did, but I was honestly so stressed out about work and other things that when I took personal time, I did other things that, for me, acted as a better stress reliever than writing.* And then I'd get home after midnight and say to myself, "Oh man, it was Tuesday today! How could I possibly forget that it was Tuesday?" And then I feel horribly stupid for forgetting what day it was, afterwards feeling guilty because you probably got on my blog and were disappointed that nothing was new. And then I feel like an egotistical jerk for thinking that anybody actually cared that much about my writing, but then I remind myself that there are lots of people who care about my writing, but I the person I really let down was myself, and that I'm even more stressed than I was before. So I do something that I do to relieve stress, such as bake cupcakes and/or watch TV online. Yes, at midnight. You have no idea the number of times someone has woken up at two in the morning to get a drink and found me baking in the kitchen. The looks they give are priceless, though.

Then I go to bed utterly confused.

Anyway, I hope that I have provided an explanation which was honest and entertaining enough to satisfy you, Gentle Reader. I'm still sorry. You didn't see it, but I literally just made a puppy dog face at my computer screen as I typed that last sentence to prove my sincerity. I'll be back next weeks, or maybe before that, even though next weeks is November, and I am once again participating in NaNoWriMo.

I promise.

Regards, best wishes, and successful time management,

-Cecily Jane

*Writing, for me, is only a stress reliever if I'm angry and I'm writing it out. I wasn't angry these past few weeks, just stressed and worried. Don't get me wrong; I love writing, but it's hard for me to be the way I am here when I'm worried about stuff.