Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Dating: Why Guys Should Do the Asking

My Dear Gentlemen Readers (particularly those who wait for girls to make the first move),

When women like Susan B. Anthony changed the world by advocating women's rights, there seemed to be a few unexpected side effects. The idea, my dear gentlemen, was to get more rights, not more responsibilities. We've got plenty of responsibilities already, in fact, I have a sneaky suspicion that the suffragettes' intent might have been to procure the women's right to vote against men dumping extra responsibilities on us. It's pretty ridiculous, as if we now have to bring home the bacon and make it into a sandwich. An easy example comes from the world of dating:

I must say that I am not pleased with your overall dating attitude as of late. In my experience, a girl basically has to hit a guy over the head with a skillet to get him to stop playing Halo and grab a bite to eat. I'm nearly convinced that you think our recent "empowerment" has gone so completely to our heads that we want to do everything. No, we do not. We want to be able to do everything, and there's a big difference there. Quite frankly, we want you to stop treating us like animals or things and treat us like human beings for a change. When you wait around for some love-sick girl to bring you cookies wearing stilettos and a little black dress, you're not thinking about that girl as a person, you're thinking of her as an object. Objectifying others equals bad.

One thing you probably don't realize is that no matter how modern this world keeps getting, certain societal rules can't quite keep up. For example, if a guy asks a girl out, he's being bold, daring, or other wisely masculine. If a girl asks a guy, she is one of three things: dangerously forward, horribly desperate, or a control freak. For the record, neither of these are helping the femininity factor too much, especially because dangerously forward is generally a progressive form of horribly desperate. Society has given men the responsibility to do the asking, and in truth, it's the only way that both sides win. By asking a girl on a date, you are emphasizing your masculinity and her femininity. And besides that, girls want to be *chased. A man who *pursues a woman can instantly triple his attractiveness. You don't have to be lavish and exotic, just be yourself and don't be afraid to do something ordinary. Sometimes you can have a better time taking a stroll through the park than going to the opera.

I'm not saying that it is an unpardonable sin for a girls to ask a guys, because sometimes that's what it takes. What I'm saying is that initiating a date is your responsibility, and if you want me to take on yours you'd better be willing to take one of mine, like walking to church wearing nylons, a knee-length skirt, and heels.

So in conclusion: guys, please be man enough.

Regards, best wishes, and censure,

-Cecily Jane


* It should be noted that the words chase and pursue are infinitely different than the word stalk. When a girl says no, assume she means it. If she's playing around with you, she's too stupid to be worth your time, and if she changes her mind later she'll let you know. All in all, if she's not interested in you, she's not good for you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this incredibly useful advice. It's simple, direct, honest and men should be made aware of how simplicity is uncomplicated. Just be you, be respectful and whatever she says, either yes or no, be no less than a human being.

If this leads to Me getting married I'll post on here and let you know.