Scene: Pokey-Man

My Dear Reader,

I'm so sorry that this post was late. The truth is that with the craziness of my family coming into town and other stuff (like moving out of my apartment), I plum forgot. Worry not though, Gentle Reader, as I have something special prepared for you today. This is a small portion of the short film that I was going to make with my brothers and sisters before I left for college. It was supposed to be a parody of Pokemon, as I have three younger brothers, and during the time that the show was insanely popular I was constantly being bombarded with the phenomenon. Unfortunately, however, my hard drive had an aneurysm after I finished the script, and all of my hard work was lost. I managed to recreate some of it, part of which is below. I don't think it's that bad, considering that I wrote it when I was seventeen. In this segment, we join new Pokey-man trainer Smash Ketchup as he leaves home for the adventure of a lifetime and comes upon a rustling bush . . .

Pokey-Man

Smash: Now, lets see why that bush was a-rustlin’!

Nathan: (comes out from bush) Na-than. Nathan.

Smash: What is that? Some sort of lizard?

Smisty: (appearing out of nowhere) It’s a Pokey-man, doofus!

Smash: What’s a Pokey-man?

Smisty: Duh! Weren’t you just singing about them, like two minutes ago! A Pokey-man, as the name suggests, is a slow (or pokey) guy (or man). You catch them, and then train them to fight other Pokey-man.

Smash: Why would I want to do that?

Smisty: Well, when you train them and you get really good, you can battle against a gym trainer and win a badge.

Smash: So?

Smisty: When you get eight badges, you get to compete in a huge tournament and you could become the best trainer ever!

Smash: (Pause) Why would I want to do that?

Smisty: (Sighs) The badges are shiny.

Smash: Shiny badges! Wow! I love shiny objects! Let’s go!

Smisty: First you need a Pokey-man. Gosh, are you really that dense?

Smash: Hey, why are you calling me fat? (looks at himself) I mean, I’m not an Olympian but I’m in pretty good shape if I say so myself.

Smisty: (smacks herself in the head) Just get that Pokey-man already!

Smash: Don’t you want it? Ladies first.

Smisty: No, I specialize in blue-shirted Pokey-man. That Pokey-man has a yellow shirt.

(both look at Nathan, who indeed has a yellow shirt and is staring at them blankly)

Smash: Okay then. Pokey-box, go! (Smash catches Nathan)

Smisty: Hey, if you don’t even know what a Pokey-man is, how did you manage to catch one? How do you even have a Pokey-box?

Smash: I got it over there. (Smash points to a stand with a sign that reads: Want to catch Pokey-man? Get your free boxes here! (Limit 500 per customer).

Smisty: (gapes in amazement and runs over to gather as many Pokey-boxes as she can.) Wow, I wonder why I didn’t see that!

Oswaldi: (comes out from behind the bush) Os-wald-i!

Smash: Now there’s a lizard, if I ever saw one!

Smisty: (Completely astonished) Oh my lucky stars and stripes! It’s Oswaldi, the rarest Pokey-man that ever existed! I thought they were extinct, since none have been seen by humans for a hundred years!

Smash: Watch out, Oswal-whatever. Ima gooona catchya!

Smisty: You? Catch the famous rare Oswaldi? Are you joking? It’s impossible to . . . (Smash catches Oswaldi) catch.

Smash: Yaaahooo! I dun caught me a good un!

Smisty: What? How? You?

Smash: Come on, little missy! Let’s ride into the sunset! (Walks off camera)

Smisty: (Still stunned) What? There was . . . Hey! Wait for me! (runs after him)

-Cecly Jane