Preview: Apocalypse

My Dear Reader,

The worst thing that could have ever happened to Salem, OR, happened this Sunday.

It snowed.

Oh, yes. A whole two inches. Sufficed to say, the city was in chaos. You see, it's illegal in Salem to use the best weapon we have against icy roads: salt. Salt is great for getting rid of snow, but it's not so great for the roads themselves, and I guess that Salem lawmakers decided that it wasn't worth it. So when we got a crazy, out-of-nowhere snow storm on Sunday, we were all in for a big heap of trouble. The roads were so slick and icy that, according to HermanaMayor, "If you aren't driving like a grandma, you're going too fast." And the roads were like that for all of Sunday. And Monday. And guess what, it's like that today, too. My guess is that the one snowplow in town just hasn't made it to our street yet, which is too bad because we're on a hill so steep the we literally had to park a block away and walk home.

After living in Utah for the past few years, this whole thing just looks ridiculous. If this happened in Provo, the streets would have been clear within an hour, and life would have gone on as usual. Instead, we're essentially waiting for the sun to give us a bailout. Stores are closed, not to mention the schools, and there are literally abandoned cars parked along the streets. You know what I think about when I see abandoned cars along the road? Apocalypse movies. You know, like the one with the alien, and the one with the meteor, and the one with the polar ice caps? All of those had similar conditions to what I've witnessed over the past few days, though on a smaller scale, and all of them made a particular mention to abandoned cars.

And that got me to thinking: what if the real apocalypse (you know, the one that John the Revelator told us about) was kind of like this? What if the major catastrophes that are going to befall us are actually avoidable if we are just prepared? What if the epic events come, and we have all of the tools to fix the issue, but we are stopped by artificial rules that we have placed upon ourselves, like the law against putting salt on the roads?

It's just a thought. After all, we were told to be prepared multiple times by multiple sources, and HermanaMayor is also famous for saying that the Lord doesn't waste our time. What if people who take the time to prepare themselves spiritually and physically for the real apocalypse end up to be what Salem would have been with a better contingency plan?

Either way, I've got this strange mental picture of all of these angels watching us from the Heavens during the end of days and saying to each other. "Oh golly! Why didn't they just get those extra snowplows like John told them to?" Try it, Gentle Reader, and if you always picture angels like the Family Circus guy draws them, then picturing them will help you giggle your way through whatever life throws at you.

Regards, best wishes, and Boy Scout mottos,

-Cecily Jane