Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Welcome, 2009. You'd Better Do Better than the Last Guy!

My Dear Reader,

I, for one, could use a really good year. Do you agree? How about a year where I have a job and my life seems to actually be going somewhere, for starters? Oh, and no more pesky economic meltdown might be nice. And if Obama actually changes some stuff, and that change turns out to be change for the better (which, as you recall, he never explicitly promised*), then I think I'll be pretty content with the world. Of course, if all of those terrorists were miraculously converted to the simple, peace-loving ways of the Amish, I'd just be ecstatic**. Is there a precedent for sending wish lists to that New Year Baby? Maybe mine will get passed along if I send it care of Santa.

What are my New Year resolutions, you ask? Well, mine is simple: be even more awesome. I know, I know--you would think that this is impossible, but I am determined to prove it otherwise. Oh, yes. I'm pretty resolute on that. It even comes with some built-in subsets that include things like putting some actually good fiction up on this blog. Or something.

You know, it's kind of funny how such an arbitrary thing such as when a calendar year starts and stops hold so much meaning and expectations for us. I mean, who decided that the year should start on January first instead of the first of any other month? And it is kind of silly to expect a year to do something for you, since it's really people who generally make things like economic crises happen, and since we really can't change anyone except for ourselves. Still, that baby is so exceedingly adorable that I must believe that it has limitless powers. I just must.

Anyway, I have this feeling that people are expecting a dazzling performance from 2009, and we surely could use one, if only to distract ourselves from the massive problems that have been oozing all around us. Oozing menacingly, even. Remember: the best way to solve your problems is to blame Fate and expect Fate to clean up its own mess. The second best way is to distract yourself with something shiny.

Regards, best wishes, and actual change for the very much better,

-Cecily Jane

*The people of Tennessee recently experienced a massive "change," in the form their houses being enveloped in toxic coal sludge. I'm sure that you will agree that things were different post-sludge when compared to pre-sludge, and yet, I have a feeling that you wouldn't vote for coal sludge as president.

**After all, the world always needs less terrorists, and it could definitely use more Amish people. This is win-win. Think about it.


Chris said...

I agree..what this world needs is more Amish and lest Terrosts! That should be the campaign slogan for the next President.

Here's hoping that 2009 treats us better than 2008.

Chris said...

ok, please ignore the typo in the word Terrorists on my last comment. I plead the Flu!

mjh said...

You and God have the power to make fudge out of sludge.