What I've Learned About God, Part 1

My Dear Reader,

Joseph Smith, a man who I believe was a prophet of God, said, "Let us here observe, that three things are necessary in order that any rational and intelligent being may exercise faith in God unto life and salvation. First, the idea that he actually exists. Secondly, a correct idea of his character, perfections, and attributes. Thirdly, an actual knowledge that the course of life which he is pursuing is according to his will. For without an acquaintance with these three important facts, the faith of every rational being must be imperfect and unproductive; but with this understanding it can become perfect and fruitful, abounding in righteousness, unto the praise and glory of God the Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ [sic](Lectures on Faith 3: 2-5)." I find these words extraordinarily profound, because they not only mean that we cannot worship God without understanding who and what He is, but it boldly contradicts the common belief that God is unknowable. Through my experiences, I have been able to prove that Joseph Smith was right. God is knowable, and when we understand who God is, what He wants, and what He has done, we can develop a powerful faith in God that helps us understand ourselves and our role in God's plan. The scriptures are the best tool to understand what God has done, as they are a record of how God has interacted with His children. In addition to the scriptures, I have learned about God through my own experiences, and I would like to offer a brief summary of what I have learned about my Heavenly Father through this fusion of experience and revelation.

1. Prayer is the gateway to understanding God and His plan for us.

When I was in college, I took a course called "Philosophy of Religion," where I got an eye-opening glimpse into the ways philosophers have been trying to describe, prove, or disprove God since humankind began. The most important thing that I learned was that while great thinkers from Russel to Aquinas tried with all their might to discover the truth about God the way that we discover truth about the natural world (i.e. arguments of reason, proofs, etc.), I had already learned more than they knew when I was a child. Furthermore, I have heard testimony from various individuals who had a similar experiences at similar ages, which means that I'm not unique because of the knowledge I received, but rather, these experiences testify of the method in which I received my knowledge: prayer. Millennia of reason have failed to prove conclusively whether or not God exists or even what His attributes are, but in one moment of thoughtful, sincere prayer, any person can learn for his or herself that God is there. Prayer is the power to communicate directly to God, to speak to Him as a child speaks to a father, and as such, prayer is one of the most important and useful powers given to human beings. If you want to know anything about God, I recommend that you ask Him.

2. God exists, and He will confirm His existence to us if we ask Him.

I remember what it was like before I knew that God lives. I was very young, and very confused. My parents took me to church ever since I was born, and though I enjoyed going, I distinctly remember coming home and being very conflicted about the truth of what I was being told. I had been taught that there was a being that had the power to create me, love me, and sacrifice for my well-being, and yet I was never expected to see this being in the entire course of my life. It was an easy thing to doubt. Doubt consumed my little body and tormented me with conflict until one day when I bowed my head and said four words: "God, are you there?" It wasn't the first time I had asked, but it was the sincerest I had ever uttered the question, and sufficed to say, I was overpowered with a strong response in the positive. The response was so strong, in fact, that even in my weakest, darkest moments, I have never been able to deny that it happened. For me, denying the existence of my Heavenly Father would be as nonsensical as denying the existence of my earthly father, and I know for a fact that this knowledge isn't reserved for any elite group of people, but rather it is open and available to anyone who wants it. If you want to know if God lives, all you have to do is kneel in prayer and say these words with a pure, sincere heart: "God, are you there?" If the answer doesn't come right away, don't be discouraged; just ask again. The answer isn't always instant, but it will come.

3. The more we pray, the more we learn who God is and what He means to us.

You can never get to know a person by seeing them from the other side of the room. Someone can point to that person and say, "That is Miles Stephanolopolis," and you can instantly be aware that a person named Miles Stephanolopolis exists. But knowing about Miles's existence is essentially worthless compared to knowing what kind of person Miles is. He could have the potential to be your greatest friend or worst enemy. He could have been plotting your destruction for years or not even be aware that you exist. The only way to know is to go up to Miles and talk to him, and the more time you talk to Miles, the more you come to understand his worldview, his accomplishments, his character, and ultimately, you develop a relationship of one kind or another. The same principle applies to our relationship with God. When we talk to God, and we receive answers from Him, we become acquainted with God's character. My prayers to God have revealed a benevolent being, a being who loves me with a perfect love, who wants me to be happy, and who understands that He has to teach me to do things that I don't understand in order for me to be happy. I have heard many talk of a vengeful God, of a God who apparently enjoys thrusting souls to the bowels of Hell and takes pleasure in punishing the sinner. This sounds to me to be a description of Satan, and bears no resemblance to the God that I have been communicating with for two decades. If God ever punishes someone, the punishment has the purpose of teaching correct principles. If God tells us to do something or to live a certain way, it doesn't mean that he is trying to enslave us, but that He is trying to teach us how to be free. That's just who God is, and the more you talk to God, the more you'll learn this for yourself.

4. God is deeply invested in our success.

The scriptures teach us that God sent His Only Begotten Son, Jesus the Christ, to earth for the benefit of all of the children of God. In order for any human being to be saved, Jesus Christ had to be sacrificed to redeem to us from the Fall and cleanse us from our sins. This sacrifice was the most painful, excruciating experience that any person has ever experienced, causing Jesus Christ, "the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that [He] might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink (Doctrine and Covenants 19:18). The Atonement, the redemption that came to pass because God and Christ did not shrink, is described by modern prophets as infinite, and the sacrifice was of the same magnitude. God gave everything He had for us, His only Son of the flesh, who was perfect and blameless from birth, and was born specifically for this end. He literally watched as His perfect Son was mocked and debased, saw as He suffered as much suffering as is possible to bear, and let His best servant die at the hands of hard-hearted sinners without a shred of intervention. This was all for us. The sacrifice gave us the choice, the opportunity to allow Christ to redeem us and return to the arms of God Himself. When I pray and feel the presence of God, the presence I feel is benevolent, caring, and positive. Because of this, I am convinced that this grand sacrifice was only the down payment in what God has sacrificed for us, because He spends every ounce of His infinite power and knowledge to watch over each of us, provide for each of us, and help each of us find the way back to Him. He only wants what's good for us. He wants us to succeed with all of His heart, and with everything He has. He wants us to be redeemed, and he has already invested too much in us to ever give up on us.

I have a lot more to say on the subject, but in the interest of length, I plan on postponing the rest until next Tuesday. In the meantime, I encourage you, Gentle Reader, to take Joseph Smith's counsel and find out what you can learn about God. I believe that it's a life-long process, but I also believe that it's worth it.

Regards, best wishes, and unshakable faith,

-Cecily Jane

Novel Excerpt #1

My Dear Reader,

This is a small sample of the book I'm trying to write by the end of April. It's essentially about a group of super smart people—a think tank—who solves problems in order to better the world. The two characters in this excerpt are Dolores and Phillip, and while Dolores is the leader of the group, this conversation will prove that there's a lot more going on here than you might expect. You are welcome to ask questions in the comments, but I may not answer them to your satisfaction (before you ask: Sam's a cat).

Think Tank: Excerpt #1

Dolores woke up to the phone ringing, and immediately regretted opening her eyes. It wasn’t until she was blinded by the light that was streaming in from the window that she realized how sore she was from her night in an awkward position on a stiff chair. The phone seemed to be particularly screechy this morning, despite all of the time that Dolores had spent deliberating over which of the tacky options offered grated on her nerves the least. It could only be worse if Brandon was on the line.
“Hello.” Dolores rubbed the shooting pain in her left hip and blinked until the room came into focus. She debated sitting at her nook for a few seconds before she decided that she was too tired to get over there.
“Dolores? You don’t sound happy. It’s Phil.”
“Hello, Phillip.”
“Are you okay? I can come over.”
“No, no,” she said as she spotted a pile of books that had been knocked over while she had stumbled for the phone. “I’m just . . . I’m just tired.” She tried to straighten the books with one hand while she held the phone to her ear with the other.
“Dolores, it’s one in the afternoon.”
“Yes, well, it was a long night last night.”
“Right. That’s why I called. What did you come up with?”
Dolores had to stop and think about that one for a second. What did happen last night? He was probably calling about something specific, she could tell from the tone in his voice. Something he would have known about. Something that they had talked about . . .
“Are you still there?” Phillip seemed to be less patient than usual.
“Yes, of course. I just have this headache and . . .” Oh, yes. The group had met last night. About Caroline. “They couldn’t find anything, and we even brought James in.”
“That’s impossible. You had to come up with some suspects at least.”
Suspects. Yes. “We have a list . . . somewhere.” She scanned the floor for a while before she realized with a sigh that it was directly underneath the pile of books that she had just finished. “Hold on.” She put the phone down so she could reach down and get the paper—not an easy task for a woman her age—and she turned back to find that Demeter, the earth-brown kitten with one white paw, was meowing into the receiver.
“Who was that?” Phillip asked after Dolores had picked the kitten up and placed her gently on the floor.
“Demeter . . . the brown one.”
“Is that the one that keeps tracking in mud?”
“Unfortunately. I haven’t let her out in a while, though, so she’s clean today.”
“Okay, so what do you have for me?” Phillip had that annoying pep in his voice that he used whenever he wanted to keep Dolores focused.
“Six names, no . . . seven. I don’t recognize any of them, but I think that James is going to bring us some research tonight.”
“Is he coming in person?”
“He said he was. Are you?”
“Yes. Definitely. Sorry about last night; I’ve had some families who are going through some hard times right now. I told you about the layoffs, right?”
“Yes, and . . .”
“Yes, I know.” Phillip said with a pause. It wasn’t hard to detect the frustration in Dolores’s voice. “I know that you called the company. It’s that CEO’s fault, not yours. It’s just too bad that my flock has to pay for his mistakes.”
“It’s horrible, that’s what it is.”
“Well, let’s talk about things that we can control, shall we? What do you want me to tell Caroline when I call her?”
“If it were anyone else, I’d say that we should give her the names and have her tell us if they ring a bell. But with Caroline . . .”
“Yeah, I know. The Christmas party all over again. Does George think that this is even a threat?”
“There’s no way to know, not yet,” Dolores sighed into the phone, “I had this dream that an army of sentient computers was rising against her, but I don’t think that theory holds any water.”
“You mean because there are no sentient computers?”
“Well, that and also because of Caroline’s record of supporting technological advancement. I just don’t see why . . . I mean it would be rather ironic if . . .”
“Dolores . . .”
“Well, fantastic or not, it is the only theory that we’ve had so far. The numbers don’t really make sense in binary, or any other numerical code that we know of. I think that I’ll ask James to look at the numbers and see if he can make any sense of them, but Hannah and George are probably our best bets in that department.”
“Are they coming tonight?”
“Uh-huh.”
“And what about Ute?”
“James is coming, too. That makes you, me . . . six in all, with Lot.”
“Why do we need Lot?”
“I think that he needs us more than we need him.”
“Ah. Well, I’m sure we can keep him busy. Dolores?”
“Yes?”
Phillip gave the kind of pause he liked to give when he was trying to word something carefully, “Dolores, why don’t you call Caroline this time? She told me last week that she wants to hear from you.”
“Oh, no she doesn’t.” Her head suddenly hurt a lot more, and her stomach didn’t feel much better. “She’s just . . . I . . . I don’t have anything to wear.”
“Yes she does. She’s your friend too, remember? And you know that she isn’t going to care what you’re wearing when you talk to her on the phone. She won’t make you teleconference or anything. She won’t even know.”
“It’s just . . . no. you talk to her. You’re so good at it. And you have kids to talk about when she asks. No, you call her.”
“Fine, Dolores, but I promise that she really wants to hear from you. Besides, what am I supposed to say when she asks why you’re never available? Caroline doesn’t understand things like that. She’ll think that I’m keeping you away from her.”
Before Dolores could think up an excuse, Sam jumped on her lap, in an obvious search for attention. She rubbed the back of Sam’s head thoughtfully for a second before she responded. “I can’t talk to her, Phillip. I can’t.”
Phillip must have heard the shakiness of Dolores’s voice, and perhaps he could hear how weak she suddenly felt, because he dropped the subject, promised to call Caroline, and told her how much he looked forward to seeing her that evening. As soon as she heard the dial tone, the phone dropped from her hand, and Dolores sank to her knees, feeling a paralyzing wave of anxiety wash over her entire body. There were too many memories, too many lost opportunities, pulsating with disappointment, embarrassment, and guilt. She was going to drown in it all.


-Cecily Jane

NaNoWriMo Attempt Number 2

My Dear Reader,

Remember last November when I tried to write a 50,000 word novel for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and failed? Well, tomorrow I'm going to try it again.

I was really disappointed with myself when I didn't get all the way to my goal, but it turned out that I wasn't the only one who didn't finish. A friend of mine from church was in the same position, and she asked me if I'd finish with her. Our plan is to make it to 50,000 words from where we left off, using each other for support and accountability. (Trust me on this one: accountability is key.) I managed to make it to 12,272 words last time, so I've got 37,728 words to go in thirty days. It should be a piece of cake, providing I figure out what the heck is going on in this book I'm writing. It will also be nice to actually have something to do.

So stay tuned as Cecily becomes even more awesome, one word at a time.

Regards, best wishes, and a super short post,

-Cecily Jane

By the Universe, You Mean God, Right?

My Dear Reader,

It somewhat confuses me that people when people say things like "If you didn't win[,] don't blame me[,] blame the universe," or "Sometimes, the universe brings you the wrong kind of French toast." I mean, since when did the universe become sentient? As far as I'm aware, it's still just a glorified collection of stuff. Some carbon over here, some iron over there, and a whole lot of hydrogen way off yonder. You might as well say, "just blame dirt." Sure, it doesn't sound as nice, but the only real difference is the scale. Let's play with this a little:



Man: Man, is my life awful.

Woman: Oh, I wouldn't worry if I were you. Sooner or later, the dirt will send you something good.

Man: The dirt? You mean like soil?

Woman: It's a metaphor, Dear.

Man: Well, I get that, but it seems to me that you've anthropomorphized seemingly random occurrences in order to soothe me.

Woman: Bollocks.



If you clicked that second link, you are probably wondering right now what I'm doing reading Hillary Clinton blogs, but sufficed to say those guys really know how to write about food. Also, I was always wondering what Rory Gilmore was talking about. But if you read that website, you start to think that these guys aren't all that into God. Especially when they say, "Because they were religious people, don’t you know (Don't click unless you're ready to be offended)." When a person writes a poison-tipped sentence like that, you start to think that they're talking about "the universe" because they think that there's something wrong with talking about God.

I read stuff like that and I think, "Dude. Most people are religious. Like, somewhere around ninety-five percent are. I don't agree with everything that every religious person does, but if you honestly think that calling people 'the religious type' is a distinguishing factor, then that's just because American culture has shamed people into believing that any kind of belief is offensive."

There are a lot of things that I'm ashamed of. For example, there was the the time I lied to my ninth grade biology teacher and told her that I had come on the bus so she wouldn't give me detention for being late. That was a pretty shameful thing to do. It might sound petty, but it's not like I've been personally involved in any grand atrocities. Still, my religion is something that I hope to never be ashamed of. Sure, I've opened my mouth a few times when I shouldn't have, and yeah, when I was a kid I might have shoved my beliefs down a throat or two, but other than that, I can't think of how being religious has led me to do anything shameful. In fact, it's been quite the opposite. If I didn't believe that I was a child of God, and that being who I am means that I have to live a certain way, I'm pretty sure that I would have a lot more shameful things to look back on in my life.*

So, this whole personification of the universe thing just seems a little silly, in the long run. I know that God probably did it, and while ninety-five percent of the world will probably agree with me on that one, one hundred percent can agree that it's definitely not the universe. And in the grand scheme of things, it's my religion and it can practice it openly if I want to.

Regards, best wishes, and courage,

-Cecily Jane

*Oh, and I don't fall for the "you should feel guilty because some guys a thousand years ago took your religion and morphed it into a five-headed beast" thing, either. No way I'm taking the fall for some people who didn't even hurt you personally in an incident that I wasn't involved in. You want to find someone to blame, go ahead and dig up those graves and spit on the skeletons. I'm sure it will solve all of your problems. (How's that for a poison-tipped sentence?)

Bigotry in Television: Target: Mormons

My Dear Reader,

Imagine that one of the bigwigs at one of those big cable networks has a pitch for a new series called Bjudaism. You see, it's all about this fictional religious group of Americans with big, long beards and funny skullcaps who are trying to hide the fact that they sacrifice animals to their god. Oh, and it turns out that they have this weird thing against Germans. Hilarious, right? "I know what you're thinking," the bigwig says to his colleagues, each with a wig of a similar size, "but even though it sounds a lot like that non-fictional religious group, this is a television show, and we'll make sure that the people in the show are just different enough that the network can legally claim that what we're doing is fiction, but close enough to really, really confuse our audience and completely make a mockery of the religious and moral beliefs of an entire people."

Every Mormon (and some of other faiths) reading this knows exactly what I'm talking about, but let me finish my fictional scenario before I talk about the real one. First of all, there is no way that Bjudaism would ever be green-lighted in any country outside of Palestine, because in most places, Judaism, the real deal, is respected and honored by non-Jews. Second of all, if it actually got green-lighted, there would be a world-wide uproar like you've never seen. We're talking riots, here. And though I don't believe in violence, I would personally be very upset about it, even though I'm not Jewish. I would not be alone, especially among my fellow Mormons. Mormons would stand behind the Jews one hundred percent, to be sure, because we firmly believe that all people have the right to worship as they choose, even if they don't worship how we chose. It's actually number eleven out of our thirteen most fundamental beliefs, to be precise.

This same kind of mockery has been made of our faith. It's called Big Love, and it essentially portrays a parody of the Mormon faith, or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They might as well call it Bmormonism. Like Bjudaism, which would make you believe that Jews still practice animal sacrifice, Big Love would have you believe that Mormons still practice polygamy, something we gave up about the same time Americans gave up slavery. Do people ask you if you're "still" a slave owner? Well, people ask us if we're "still" polygamists, and this doesn't help. The most frustrating thing about being a Mormon in this world is that even though we literally go door to door to explain to people who we are and what we believe, there are only a handful of people out there who actually listen to us, and much fewer that understand us. We are probably the least understood religion of our size in the world.

Speaking of size, there's a reason why I chose to contrast Mormonism with Judaism: we are about equal in numbers at thirteen million each, worldwide. In fact, there are actually more Mormons in America than there are Jews. So I figure if the Jews are a people, the Mormons are, too, and that's how I like to think of the members of my church: my people.

Last Sunday,* Big Love just got worse by completely desecrating one of our most sacred practices: eternal marriage. I used the words "desecrate" and "sacred" carefully, because they accurately describe what's happening here. When something is sacred, it is so important, so special, and so holy that it must be treated a certain way. When it's not treated a certain way, the sacred thing is desecrated, or in other words, it has been defiled. The Lord's name is sacred, so when you use the Lord's name when you aren't talking about the Lord, especially when you use the His name as a curse word, then you have desecrated that name. My name isn't sacred, so if you used it as a curse word, it wouldn't really matter. And honestly, if it would stop you from using the Lord's name as a curse word, go right ahead.

To my people, marriage is one of the most important things in this life, if not the most important thing. It's so important that we believe that marriage can last after death in what we call eternal marriage, and eternal marriage is so scared, so holy that the marriage ceremony has to be conducted in a sacred place. We call these places temples, and we have them all over the world. Temples, and more importantly, what goes on inside them are so important that we Mormons have a special way of treating them to ensure that their sacred nature is preserved, just like we have a special way of treating the Lord's name. One of the most important ways we protect the sacred nature of certain things in the temple is that we don't talk about it unless we're actually inside the temple. This confuses a lot of people, and it leads them to believe that we're doing crazy things in temples, and you would not believe the kinds of things that I've heard. The plain truth is that some things are to be kept private not because they're vile, but because they're personal, like medical records or credit scores. More importantly, they're sacred, and broadcasting temple practices violates the sacred nature of the temple.

Big Love doesn't understand this, or if they do, they must really hate us Mormons, because last Sunday, they tried to recreate the eternal marriage ceremony--something that is so sacred and holy that we believe that God has directed us to keep it inside the holy temple--and broadcast it on national television. It's like taking a yarmulke and throwing it like a Frisbee, except for much, much worse. Actually, it's more like taping sex between a married couple and airing it during morning cartoons: an abomination, and again, I'm choosing my words carefully. This is a desecration of my people's most sacred beliefs, and yet, it's perfectly acceptable because we Mormons are not understood or respected enough to get the same treatment as other religious groups, such as the Jews.

The Mormon Church, or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has issued a statement on the matter, which you can find here. I highly encourage you to read it, because in my opinion it is not only appropriate, but also very smart. It essentially requests that we all ignore Big Love, and I very much agree. In fact, the only reason I wrote this post in the first place was to help people understand what was really going on here and why it's such a big deal to Mormons.

If you consider yourself to be a tolerant person, or a respectful person, I hope that I have helped you understand that Big Love espouses values that oppose what you believe in, because it is an act of religious bigotry by not only fostering misunderstanding about a religion, but also by desecrating what it believes to be holy. And because Big Love equals bigotry, I would encourage any tolerant, respectful person, of any religion or creed, to do the tolerant thing and not watch it. Ignore it. Watch something else. That's really what will make it go away. In fact, I would say that not watching Big Love is the American thing to do, and remember, Americans are my people, too.

Regards, best wishes, and true tolerance,

-Cecily Jane

*One thing that I do find funny in all of this is that Big Love airs on Sunday, a day that Mormons generally don't watch television because we believe that it's the Lord's day, you know, Commandment Number Four?

Congratulations! You Are Now Significantly Less Lame than You Were Yesterday

My Dear Reader,

On the 5th of March, in the year of our Lord two-thousand and nine, Miss Cecily Jane Harris, at the tender age of twenty-three, received a driver's license.

I know.

And just in case you're wondering, I've never had my license revoked or suspended or anything; I just hadn't gotten around to it yet. Yes, I used to be that lame. I'm the second oldest out of the six kids in my family, but I was the second to last to drive legally, beating out Youngest, who is twelve years old. That means that for the past few months I've been living in Oregon, I've had to ask my seventeen-year-old brothers to drive me around. Sure, it was slightly embarrassing, but they were driving me in my Madre's van, which tends to have that effect despite the circumstances.

The hard thing about this whole process is that the longer it took me to go into the DMV office, the more reasons I had to not go in at all. I mean, it's not like I could just put my hair in a pony tail and try to pull off being sixteen. Two weeks ago, I finally mustered up the courage to go in and take my first driving test, and the only way it could have been a bigger disaster was if someone had been injured. In fact, I was so upset about it, that I wrote my drive tester, who I will refer to as DMV Lady, into the story I posted last week, and it was pretty much like that minus the crash. She was already in a bad mood, and she got even more upset when HermanaMayor's small car didn't fit her rather large body very easily. It just went downhill from thee, because the more upset she got, the more nervous I became, and the more nervous I became, I would make mistakes and make her even more upset. Like I said, it was awful.

After a reasonable recovery period, I went back for more, praying that I wouldn't get DMV Lady again, and when I saw her behind the counter, I admit that I started freaking out a little. But this time i was with a friend who brought his lucky pants and joked with the other DMV lady who checked me in. Well, it turned out that The Other DMV Lady was my drive tester that time, probably because DMV Lady saw me and refused to ever be in the car with me ever again. It's kind of nice to know that we share a mutual affection, that DMV Lady and I. Anyway, it turns out that I can drive pretty well when the person in the passenger's seat doesn't think that I'm trying to murder them, and The Other DMV Lady was pleased to inform me that I had passed. She had no way of knowing that passing that test meant overcoming on of the greatest hurdles in my life.

I'm sure that you have at least some idea the kind of stuff I've had to put up with from family and friends in the last seven years, especially since I have three little brothers who relish any chance they have to one-up me--but no more! There is no longer an asterisk next to my name in the Book of Awesomeness, which petty much means that I can move up from spot number twelve to spot number nine, at least. That's right; I am now even more awesome than Barbra Streisand. That's quite an accomplishment, at twenty-three.

Don't tell Miss Streisand, though. She gets it hard enough as it is.

Regards, best wishes, and awesomeness,

-Cecily Jane

Character Naming 101

My Dear Reader,

If you knew how much time I spend looking at baby name websites, you would probably be very much concerned. Sometimes, I wonder if I think about names more than expecting parents do, and I might. You see, it just so happens that baby name resources are also perfect when you have to name a fictional character, which I do a lot.

I really like to take special care when I match a name to a character, because no matter what Shakespeare says, a name carries meaning. You think something differently about a Hank than you would a Henry, in terms of age, social class, and even personality. A Leonard is older than a Michael. A Susan is more serious as an Ashley, and etc. Perhaps the most fascinating part for me is the meanings and origins of the names, because sometimes a beautiful names will have an ugly meaning, or vice versa, like my name, which means "blind." I sometimes use a name meaning as irony or to decribe the most basic, essential layer of a character's outlook in life, personal mission, or function in the story. You can name your character after a real or fictional person to connect your story to the outside world in a variety of ways. In the end, names are actually very important in a story. Here are some names I find especially interesting at the moment:

• Roland ("famous land," or after this Roland)
• Eloise ("famous warrior")
• Angus ("one strength")

Last names are a little bit different, because they aren't as personal and don't have to be as unique. Still, I find that the right last name is still important for characterization. When it comes to last names, I generally get what I need from my trusty writer's notebook, where I write down pretty much every interesting last name that I see. When I worked in the MTC Cafeteria this was a piece of cake, since I could just scribble down the missionaries' names from their name tags as they walked by. Nowadays, I get my names off of everything from street signs to the British Parliament. Here are some real names I've found:

• Sweat
• Vendassi
• Salterthwaite
• Rowberry
• Wipf
• Prentice
• Brazier

I know that it might seem a little trivial to you, Gentle Reader, but names are something that I actually think about a lot. It might have somethingt to do with the fact that my name means "blind son of Harry," which is less than an accurate description, or perhaps the fact that it's a lot easier for me to solve fictional problems than it it to solve the problems in my life. Either way, the next time you see me take my notebook out of my purse and scribble something down, maybe you could suggest a name for me to add to my list.

Regards, best wishes, and roses,

-Cecily Jane